E! News: As for the reports that David Hasselhoff, Audrina Patridge, The Situation and Brandy will also be part of the cast, here's the deal: All true, according to sources.
Dlisted: It's been reported that The Situation, Brandy, The Hoff, Florence Henderson, Troy Aikman Jennifer Grey, Ceiling Eyes and Michael Bolton are all in talks. ABC will announce the full cast on August 30th. This mess of all messes premieres on September 20th, so mark that day on your calendar as the world comes to a crashing end. Yes, it ends on a dancefloor and under a disco ball.
Ummmm where do I even begin? So many thoughts running through my head. So much room for activities!
First. This fucking cast is outstanding. Troy Aikman, the Hoff, the Situation, Brandy, BRISTOL PALIN...the list goes on. I mean I've never watched this shit but count me in for the new season if this leak turns out to be true. This just seems too good to pass up. But I think ABC can cut the shit with the title here. Look I'm a branding professional. I know a thing or two about naming. Rule #0 is that your name better convey what your fucking product brings to the table. And let me be clear here - this show is NOT Dancing with the Stars. I have a few friends that might be able to come up with something a little more catchy, but off the top of my head I think something along the lines of "Dancing with some people that are grasping on to any hopes of continued fame" might fit a little better at this point.
Which brings me to my second, and much more important, point. There is one name that does not fit with the rest. One of the leaked names is a certified STAR. She is MY certified STAR. Yes I'm talking about my future wife Audrina. I already knew I loved her personality but I assume that once I see her really break it down on the dance floor, the bond will be 100% obvious. Even to my dickhead friends that don't seem to like her. Sooooooooooooo yeah, I'm excited.
Which brings me to my third, and most important, point. SOMEONE GET ME ON THIS FUCKING SHOW TO BE AUDRINA'S DANCE PARTNER. This is my calling. All the stars are aligning, right before our very eyes. As long as this season has some sort of segment that includes a dark dance floor that I can creepily sneak up behind her and start thrusting my pelvis to the beat on, I'm prettyyyyyyy sure that we'll have this thing locked up. Pretty much turn into Erin Andrews and that other dick on this past season. Clearly banging. We'll be all the rage. National blogs such as this one won't be able to stop talking about Audrina and the smooth, stylish, svelte blond beaut with whom she shares an undeniable chemistry that she rocks back and forth, up and down so smoothly with. I pretty much think there is at LEAST a 91% chance of this happening.
PS - Hey dlisted, if my world ended on a dance floor under a disco ball I'd pretty much say ummm yep this is exactly how I expected to go. So stop with all the dramatics will ya? Pretty sure Audrina and I will be well on our way to saving the world by September 20th.
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