Unfortunately I am NOT better than ever. Another day another fucking injury are you guys messing with me? Is it the architect? First Ellsbury gets demolished by Adrian Beltre's best Lawrence Taylor impression and bruises a rib (somehow he missed like a full pregnancy's worth of time from this?), then Dusty fouls a laser show off his foot and breaks it, Beckett hurts himself as per usual, VMart breaks his thumb and now Youk tears a muscle in his thumb? Ummm. There are tearable muscles in thumbs? There are muscles in thumbs?
On top of all this, I might as well be pitching out of the bullpen at this point our relievers are so bad. But HEY we got Jarrod Salt of the Earth Saltalamacchia at the trade deadline. WOOO!! Watch out!
On top of all THIS, Mr Youkilis has been one of the absolute rocks on my fantasy team all year. If you know me at all, which I'm pretty sure if you're one of our 2-3 readers you do, you know that fantasy basically=real for me. I don't take this shit lightly. I believe Special Ed has told you a bit about my management style (quick sidenote all the bitching he's done makes no sense considering the player I traded him has performed significantly better that the player he traded me. But I digress). I run shit, and that's about it. I think I'm what is generally referred to as a "savant" when it comes to fantasy.
Well this year, I've taken on a whole new challenge in the form of a roto league and I have assembled arguably the most well rounded fantasy team ever known to man. It is a thing of beauty. A work of modern art if modern art didn't suck as much as it does. The most dominant pitching these eyes have ever seen and an offense that's beginning to peak at exactly the right time. Somehow I'm still a close 2nd instead of running shit in 1st, but I'm pretty sure that'll change when all is said and done.
And now Youk's thumb muscle is torn. His fucking thumb muscle. Like I said, the guy's no slouch. He's been essentially single-handedly carrying the Sox all year and one of a few guys carrying my fantasy offense. Sooooo yeah, it's big. Couple all this shit with the end of the Hills and you can probably understand why I'm living my life on a ledge these days.
Please dear Kevin don't get surgery. A DL stint is fine. Take a little rest and go get a nice Thai rubdown on that bad boy for the next 15 days. Just come back with a fire under your ass and propel my two favorite teams to the promised land, will ya?
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