One day after Big Z took out a full page ad in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, thanking Cleveland fans for their years of loyalty, Team LeBron decided that it would be not at all transparent to take a full ad in the Akron Beacon...
USA Today- “For all my life, I have lived in Akron, and for that, I am truly a lucky man,” the letter read. “It was here where I first learned how to play basketball, and where I met the people who would become my lifelong friends and mentors. Their guidance, encouragement, and support will always be with me.”
“Akron is my home, and the central focus of my life. It’s where I started, and it’s where I will always come back to. You can be sure that I will continue to do everything I can for this city, which is so important to my family and me. Thank you for your support…you mean everything to me.”
The ad shows Bron-Bron helping in the Akron community, but does not mention anywhere the city where he actually played basketball for the past seven years. He must be the most ill-advised athlete in the history of athletes or advice. Seriously LeBron, give me a call, there is no way I could mismanage your career worse than the clowns you are surrounding yourself with at this point. I'd even do it for four fifths commish, because you know what really gets my dick hard? Helping out very wealthy basketball players who have no idea how to handle their image.
Oh yeah, and my first piece of advice? Forget that whole "Akron is where I will always come back to" thing. Probably want to steer clear of Akron, or for that matter all of Ohio, for the next, say, 75 or so years.
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