Danny Granger Thinks Europe Doesn't Just Stink at Basketball

Danny Granger has spent the past couple weeks over in Turkey playing for Team USA in the FIBA World Basketball Classic, where he has helped the Americans beat the likes of Spain, Greece, Slovakia and Brazil. Despite this, if his Twitter is any indication, Granger isn't having the greatest time on his summer vacation...

"smellin like dead donkeys… no joke" –Twitter via USA Today

"im dying over here…. how come nobody in europe wears deodorant? guess they didnt get the memo" –Twitter via USA Today

Okay, so you know how easy it is for me to make fun of Europeans for being smelly. So, I'll spare you the rhetorical America is better than everywhere else in the world rambling. I certainly WILL NOT tell you about how my face was smushed into an Eastern European's sweaty armpit on the 5 train on the way to Union Square today. Or how the musk will haunt my dreams for years to come.

No, instead I'll tell you exactly what is going on in Granger's scenario. One time, when we were playing pick-up ball at Dodge, we absolutely dismantled a team, especially due to stellar defense by our boy, renneBOOM, on this kid who wasn't wearing a shirt. When we ran it back the next two games, all of a sudden this shirtless kid caught fire, just hitting open jumper after open jumper.

When we asked him what happened, he stuck his hand up and told us to smell it. The kid's B.O. had attached itself to renneBOOM's hand like the Valet's B.O that took over Jerry's car in Seinfeld. Poor renneBOOM couldn't bare to be within a couple feet of the kid, so the B.O. kid just pulled up and drained shots and ran us off the court.

So if you follow my logic here, the Europeans are purposely not wearing deordorant so that it will make the U.S. players not gaurd them as tight. Freakin' Euros can't outplay us, so they are taking to biological warfare and using the ol' smellyguy offense. Too bad, they still can't beat us. And we're playing our JayVee team. Sooooooo... I guess you just got the long version of how the USA is better than the rest of the world at everything.

PS- It took renneBOOM multiple days of washing and scrubbing in order to shake the odor.