If they had let me know about these sand scalpting contests I would dominate the shit out of them. Because if there's one thing in this world that I'm good at it's drinking copious amounts of alcohol. But if there were two things in this world that I'm good at they would be drinking a lot and making things out of sand. I mean check out this sculpture I made in Jamaica of The Great White Whale
Yeah some asshole walked across it before we could properly document how awesome it was, but I swear it's an exact to scale replica of one of our good friends mooning us while swimming in the ocean down there.
I NEED to find out where and when these sand castle contests are, so that I can get discovered, become world famous and have a never ending supply of women and money. I mean checkout the rest of these sand castles and try to tell me there's a way I don't win a contest against these chumps. Might as well try to tell me Brett Favre is unretiring again.
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