Ladies and Meatheads, if you didn't think I was a tool before for writing, you now have my permission to consider me one. I dropped my cell phone in a cup of coffee about 10 days ago, and it became the Hellen Keller of phones (and YES I put it in a bag of rice). I could txt, but the clear button was stuck pressed down so it was a race against the clock to finish typing, and I could make and receive calls, but I couldn't talk into the phone or hear what the other person was saying.
So today, when I needed to return my important business phone calls and couldnt because I had a deaf mute for a phone, I texted Patty Shack where I could find the nearest Verizon store. Once he informed me that it was literally across the street, I walked and caved to the pressure to get a BlackBerry.
I got the Curve, but I'm technology retarded so don't try to BBM, SMS or MMS me or any of that shit, because I still don't know how to Reply All on emails works. Ergo, I obviously don't know how to use a damned BlackBerry. All I know is I'm gonna be breaking bricks till the cows come home and writing emails that say Sent From My Verizon Wireless BlackBerry like all the rest of the people that I hate.
PS- Don't judge me, Patty Shack got Twatter. You can follow him @BenedictPatickArnold.
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