But can't I just go to Sturdy Wings?

Popcrunch - A mentally-disturbed man convicted of stalking reality personality Audrina Patridge was sentenced to 24 months in a California State Prison on Thursday.

Hey guess what turns out jail's not so bad! They have Wi-Fi and I haven't gotten raped yet and I'm making so many friends! Plus, now I can just spend all my time blogging so I'm sure all you loyal readers are just thrilled.

Just kidding suckers! Turns out I'm not even remotely the craziest stalker out there after all. So for everyone worried (and rightfully so) that this was me, fear no more. First of all this dude was squarely in his mid twenties right at the ripe age of 25. I am NOT in my mid-twenties, thank you very much. Second, the nutjob motherfucker apparently showed up at Audrina's door with a knife in his backpack and with a bunch of drawings - one of which included a chick being strangled. Ummm what? Aren't stalkers supposed to really like the people (read: NOT want to kill) they stalk? I guess I'm just way off my stalking etiquette game. Thought I was an up-and-coming prospect but clearly I gotta hit the spring training field a bit harder next year. Don't worry though I'll get there!