I've made about 188 different resumes for jobs the past couple weeks and now I'm sorta pissed that I now have to go back and add Fashion Icon to all of them. Picked this little number up from a street vendor on Fulton Street for $4 and all weekend guys wanted to be me and girls wanted to get with me.
Now I know what you're thinking, how is that different from any other weekend? I must have to beat pussy away with a stick, what with my chiseled body, doe-like eyes, razor sharp wits and charming personality. You're right, but I've never had as many girls throw themselves at me as I did while rockin the Stars and Stripes on my noggin. I'm just upset I hadn't thought of it until now, ladies love Patriotism.
The best part of the Saturday night though, a girl runs up to me and starts telling me how awesome my hat is and grabs it off my head. Just as I think I have her hook, line and sinker, she looks at me and goes, "Ugh! Is that sweat?"
Yeah, Sweety, it was sweat. I'd been grinding on girl's bums all night and it was at least 120 down in the club part of Los Feliz. Plus, if you had been reading My Meat you'd have known that hat was going to be soaked because I sweat more than the guy in the Axe commercial...
Oh and ladies, if you think I was killin' you in the American Flag Hat, JUST WAIT til I drop the aviators on you. You'll need to start wearing a belt around your panties to keep them up.
that was one of the most obnoxious posts i have ever read. don't worry - i'm laughing, but that was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you could have "wits" in the plural...
ReplyDelete