Oh what's that? Without Jason Bay and Papi's steroids and Manny and Nomar and Babe Ruth we'll have no way to produce runs? I'm sorry, I guess you haven't met the starting right half of the 2010 AL All-Stars yet, Senor's Kevin Youkilis and Dustin Pedroia. Suck on this: oh they were just a combined 5-8, with 5 RBIs and 5 runs. Yeah no big deal I guess. I'm sure that wasn't nearly as good as Arod and Teixeira, right? I beg your pardon? They were only a combined 1-9 with 2 runs? And they made more tonight together than I will for the next 15-20 years of my life? Oh okay cool just checking.
So maybe Beckett didn't look fantastic, but that's basically to be expected for most pitchers this time of year. Kid's a gamer and that's all there is to it. I'm not worried. Not like Carston Charles looked all that great when all was said and done either. Although it is possible that he ate a small village in Africa for his offseason workout this season. My god dude you're a professional athlete, maybe try to look the part?
Regardless of the outcome tonight (though I'm approximately 50000% happier with this than the alternative), it's fucking great to have baseball back. With the Masters coming up and baseball really kicking off tomorrow, summer is just around the corner. Amen brother. Now does anyone have a girlfriend I can borrow?
PS--welcome to the team, Dre. Could've sworn you were from LA (Los Angeles, not Laconia--common mixup, don't worry), but we're happy to have you.
PPS--LeBron, you can just get off the premises. We're not courting you (see what I did there?) for next year, so you can beat it.
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