Heidi Montag doing Playboy (again)...Yawn

MSNBC-- Heidi Montag isn’t done showing off her newly enhanced assets. The reality-turned-surgical star is currently in talks with Playboy for a deal that could earn her more than a million dollars.

“Heidi would love to do another (Playboy) cover,” said a source who’s exceedingly close to the couple.

Montag’s first Playboy pose, back in September, was conservative by some standards, but part deux stands to be a little more risqué.

Heidi you little slut you! Playboy again, huh? Despite what the evidence suggests, I'm not as excited about this as you might expect. Yes, she hits a lot of things on my list. Double digit plastic surgeries, and she still wants to go bigger? Check. Will surely put up with me considering she has the worst dude in the world for a boyfriend? Check. Major part of the best television series in history? Check.

But things get a little rocky from there. Certifiably insane? Yep. Huge bitch to my girl Lauren? Uh huh. And, the deal breaker: will stop taking her birth control without telling her boyfriend? Yes sir.

So all you kids out there go enjoy Heidi's new toys. Call me when it's my future wife we're talking about.

PS- Pretty certain it's not a coincidence that my name is in Audrina's last name. What's the word for it, you ask? Destiny.