Remember When Your Mom Told You She Was Going to Send You on a One Way Trip to the Moon?

NPR- As the nation attempts to go on a debt diet, the cost of federally funded space missions, like the long-awaited manned mission to Mars, is being questioned. But two scientists are recommending a different approach that could change space exploration forever: leaving the astronauts there.

Davies envisions the astronaut who will travel to Mars to be in his or her 60s, with enough life experience and training to willingly take the journey into space. They would live off of a power source of some kind, ideally a nuclear reactor, and take enough medical and food supplies to sustain themselves through the rest of their life.

Let me first say that it would be a bright and colorful day in the life of Pattyshack before I would go on a one way trip to Mars (Get it? Because he's colorblind and because he's the most miserable fuck I've ever met). I am, for the most part a pretty low matainence type of guy. Give me my bag of rice, a white t-shirt and a pair of mesh shorts and I'll make due. That is with the exception that I NEED human contact at all times.

I could not be joking less. Simon and Garfunkel can fucking shove it because I hate the sound of silence. I blast the radio for the three minutes it takes me to get changed when I get out of the shower so that I don't have to be alone. And if you know me well enough, you know that I am a Green Dot on gchat 97% of the time and that the most frustrating thing in my life is that I can only fit 5 convos on the screen at once. Well, maybe a tie between that and trying to shave my back. Yeah, I shave my back. God decided about a year ago that my back was the canvas for an abstract work and 3 inch black hairs were his medium. Yeah, gross.

Back to Mars though... Haha who am I kidding, no one read that back hair joke and didn't find something better to do with their time. And if you kept reading, you're sick in your head. But if you can stomach the thought of the randomly scattered patches of hair on my back, there's a few spots I can't quite reach and I could really use a hand.