Color me aroused!

Clenched buttocks?...check.

Racing pulse?...check

Moist brow?...check

Moist pants?...you bet your fucking bottom dollar.

Oh Audrrrrrrrrina my darling. Where do I begin. Well first of all fuck you dude dancing with her. Better keep a good 3 feet away from her if you don't want to meet me anytime soon. And fuck you first judge and Bruno. And Leeann or whatever her name is too for that matter. Why dont you act like ya been there before and keep the come-ons to a minimum from this point forward.

Anyway, not sure if the dancing or the commentary afterwards deserves more blogging here. Guess I'll start with the easy part. That dance was straight fire. Picked a perfect song (California Gurls - she's from the Hills...get it? It's because The Hills is filmed in Los Angeles. It's in California). She was entirely more free-flowing than I expected. Definitely on my level, which I have to admit I was not expecting. Still wouldn't stand a chance against me in a dark club, but I'm not entirely sure that's what the point of this show is. (Side note: not exactly sure what the point of this show is. Watched about a half hour of this shit waiting for Audrina to come on. She didn't. I will never get that 30 minutes of my life back. But I digress.)

As for the little discussion after the dance...I mean where do I begin? The clenched buttocks? The comment that she "certainly has the right body"? (Umm obviously?). No, I'll take "You're like a beautiful show pony that needs to be pushed to the limit and whipped into shape" for 800, Alex. Are you kidding me BR(un)O? Did you really say that? I literally could not think of anything better you could've said. Nothing. Unfortunately for you I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that heard what you said (because I watched the video 19 or so times) because everyone else was too busy talking about how annoying your fucking voice is.

PS I'm back bitchesssssss

PPS Bristol Palin is the worst dancer in the history of the world. Not even close to an argument. Congrats SA, you are now #2.