Move to Buffalo Before Everybody Else Realizes How Awesome it is

Yahoo- Sperling crunched the numbers to find the 10 best cities to relocate to today. The list takes into consideration all kinds of data points from cost of living to crime rates, the number of colleges and how healthy the population is, as well as access to museums, shows, sporting and other events. Plus, one you might not think of - stability.


2. Buffalo-Niagara Falls, NY
Buffalo is an older, industrial city that has "gone through a sort of gut-wrenching transition into the 21st Century," Sperling says. And now that it's gotten over the bumps, it's a great place to live.



The Buffalo-Niagara Falls area has a growing arts scene and it's affordable: The cost of living is 14.4 percent below the national average, and the average home price is $119,700, well below the national average of $171,700.


There are more than 20 parks in Buffalo, earning it the nickname, "City of Trees," and for all you sports fans, it's home of the Buffalo Bills football team and Buffalo Sabres hockey team. As for Niagara Falls, the city has moved from an industrial center to a more sustainable tourism-based economy, and with the opening of the Conference Center Niagara Falls a few years ago, it now attracts more business travelers.


The unemployment rate in the region is 8.3 percent, below the national average. Health care and education are the fastest growing industries here.

And yeah, I realize that we came in second... again. Cue the Bills four straight super bowl losses jokes. Real fucking knee slappers...
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo!!!!! I've taken sooooooo much shit for being from Buffalo since day one. Oh, Buffalo, isn't that a welfare city? You guys get a lot of snow up there right? Is that a part of Canada? Well look who's number 2 now bitches! Looks like I was just beating the rush by being birthed there.

It's Called a Dance Party!!!

Laughter Is The Best Medicine - Watch more Funny Videos

Somebody better get me Sean Stevenson for our party next weekend! Life is meant to be enjoyed! The only other time I met somebody who comes close to being this awesome was this hunchback I met on the way to Wilson Farms back in Buffalo. Me and my boy tried to help him carry him carry his groceries, but he told us he was working on his traps. He also told us he was taking yoga classes because he was this close to being able to suck his own dick. Dude just embraced being a hunchback, and really what else are you supposed to do when you're dealt that hand? Life is too short to get all serious and not have a good time.

An Italian City Buried in Trash

Yahoo News- Did you ever want to know what 2,400 tons of trash looks like? Well, wonder no more! A garbage strike in Italy has led to public protests, intense finger-pointing, and a whole heckuva lot of trash piling up in the streets of Naples.

So, what's the problem? City trash wasn't being collected because of public outrage over a proposed city dump. The trash piled up, and then protesters just started adding to it, dumping their refuse in the streets. Now the European Union is threatening to slap sanctions on Italy if it doesn't clean up the mess.

Sometimes the jokes for a blog are just too easy. An Italian city covered in trash? No! You don't say!! Is there any relation to why Jersey, Long Island and Staten Island are having garbage problems, too?

In case you needed another reason to hate LeBron part III

Really with this? How are this guy's PR people so dumb? THIS is what you respond to everything with? This dude just made god knows how much for this commercial and he wants us to think he's an angel for the time he gave the money to charity when he HELD AN HOUR LONG ESPN SPECIAL ABOUT HIMSELF. No bro. No. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to think about how much of a dick you are for now actually making more money on what everyone already hates you for. Guess what dude? I hate you more now! And I hated you a LOT before I saw this!

Oh and enough with the sob stories about people being mean to you on twitter. I didn't pay much attention to any of these but saw enough headlines to want to puke. You make more money than god dude. I do not feel bad for you. Buy thicker skin or something.

Moral of the story is just shut up and win some basketball games and everyone forgets about this. But you have to remember the first part.

(Seriously though throw me like $50k a year, a couple pairs of kicks and maybe a night or two a year with your mom and I will happily make these decisions for you. Your personal brand value will shoot through the roof. Trust me I'm a professional.)

Oh yeah PS - I can't wait to see the Celts murk this clown tomorrow night.

UMMMM......no

Wikipedia - "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." is a grammatically valid sentence in the English language, used as an example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated linguistic constructs. It has been discussed in literature since 1972 when the sentence was used by William J. Rapaport, an associate professor at the University at Buffalo. It was posted to Linguist List by Rapaport in 1992. It was also featured in Steven Pinker's 1994 book The Language Instinct.

What what what what what what what what? Turns out when Special Ed stumbles home from McFaddens every Sunday he's actually speaking in complete sentences? Well when he is able to form more than basic sounds, that is.

Umm you have got to be fucking kidding me with this one. I don't give a shit about William J. Rapaport or Steven Pinker. With all due respect sirs, I am the grammar expert on this blog and, quite frankly, on much of the internet. And this is not going to fly on my watch. Leave it to some dude from Buffalo to say that this is a grammatically correct sentence. Have you ever met anyone from Buffalo? Literally 1 in every 3 words they say is Buffalo. Not even an exaggeration. "Bills this, Niagara Falls that, Sabres, beer, wings, Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo." That is how most of my "conversations" with these degenerates go. So I think it's pretty easy to see that in 24 words, Buffalo could come up 8 times in a row at one point or another. What is NOT easy to see, my friends, is that this then makes a complete sentence.

And you can take all your fancy little charts and stick 'em where the sun don't shine. I can draw pictures too. Just no colors.

Hillbilly Pinata Party

Pinata Headshot - Watch more Funny Videos

I mean this was obviously 100% intentional. If you wanna call out a hillbilly for cheating at pinatas then tie a blindfold on his head or expect to be hit upside the dome piece with a broomstick. It's rule #1 in the handbook. So don't come crying to me with the mild concussion you just received, I'm not impressed.

BTDubbs, that is the most pathetic looking pinata I have ever seen. Really? A smiley face? That's what you got for me? Even the peasents in Mexico are laughing at you with that bull.

God Hates Buffalo

Which one of these things is not like the other one? Which one of these things is not the same? Ryan Fitzpatrick is the number two rated quarterback in the NFL? How on earth is this possible? Yeah I know, Fitzy put up big numbers yesterday in another heartbreaking loss to the Ravens, going 29-43 for 374 and 4 touchdowns, but I am actually supposed to believe the only quarterback in the league that is better than our Harvard Boy is Peyton Manning? And worse, what if Chan Gailey and the Front Office actually start believing it? The Bills are finally bad enough to draft a franchise quarterback and maybe start turning this team around, and GD Ryan Fitzpatrick is ruining it!

It doesn't help that our defense can't stop a nose bleed. We just let up 30 points or more for the fifth straight game (and for the first time in our not so storied 50 year history) and are ranked dead last against at stopping the run. If you look at those stats, its hard to say that what's going to right the ship is a new quarterback. Ryan Mallet or Andrew Luck are not going to be tackling many running backs. Oh yeah, and Buffalo is now the only team in the league who hasn't won a game. Perfect.

PS- The Bills were up 17-3 and 24-10, but at no point did I actually think we were going to win that game yesterday. That game had heartbreaking loss written all over it. So of course we rallied back from down 10 to tie the game late in the fourth. And of course Ray Lewis strips Shawn Nelson and the Ravens rip our hearts out in overtime like it was Old Spice . I would have been MUCH more shocked if that didn't happen. I've seen that movie too many times.

PPS- I love the Old Spice commercials with Ray Lewis. I don't play Fantast Football! I play For Real Football! If I still had enough friends to play football with on the weekends, this would undoubtably be my go to trash talking line.

Mom Elephant Kicks Baby Elephant

Mom Kicks Baby Elephant - Watch more Funny Videos

Baby Dumbo can play on my team, anyday. Took that shot like a champion and stood right back up like it ain't no thang. And elephants never forget. So when Babar here grows up, its straight to the County Infirmary for Mamma Elephant. No way he's taking care of that bitch in her old age. Oh you don't like how Ben Stiller from Happy Gilmore is treating you? Shouldn't have kicked my ass off that hill when I was 3.

Governor Candidate Accuses Opponent of Giving Boners

Governor Candidate Accuses Opponent Of Giving Boners - Watch more Funny Videos

Well, the facts are the facts. I mean Susana didn't even flinch when she got called out for taking money from Border Security Funds and giving big fat boners. Just kept looking down at her notes like "Yup, I knew re-elections were coming up. I gave all those big fat boners and I'm proud of it!"

But here's the thing though Diane, you're going to lose this election and it has nothing to do with Susana giving out boners or that Arizona is a red state and wouldn't vote for your liberal hippie democrat ass anyway. Nope, see any true politician would promised to finish of those big fat boners that the incumbent didn't see through to the end. It's Politicking 1.0 to take care of voters blue balls and if you can't manage this, then I don't want to see how you would handle a real issue.

Hey, Do You Have 34 Spare Minutes to Watch a Music Video???

Ummm so there are 2072 seconds in Kanye's new full length film Runaway and I'm not sure I understood a single one of them. Quick recap for those of you don't have time to watch the whole thing, some kind of hot bird falls from the sky and Kanye tells her not to believe anything she hears on the news. He keeps a sheep, a deer and some turkeys in his back yard. Then he takes her to a place where there is a marching band, a float of Michael Jackson and a bunch of Klan members. Cut to a scene where she can't pick up a tea cup, okay now to a dinner party where an entire table of like 50 black people are being served by white people. Somebody points out that he is dating a bird so he walks away dejected and starts playing the piano. Then a bunch of ballerinas come into the picture, one of which looks like Steffi Graf. Kanye dances awkwardly on top of the piano as he watches the ballerinas. Then they bring out the main course to the dinner party and its a turkey and the bird lady freaks out. Now back to the sheep and the deer. Then the bird lady asks where statues come from, and she tells Kanye that they are phoenix turned to stone, and that if she doesn't burn she'll turn to stone. Kanye tells her that he'll never let her burn. Kanye wakes up and the sexy bird lady is gone, so he starts running. Now she's flying, it looks ridiculous and now she has a gold breast plate on. She shoots up into the sky in flames..... And that's it. This is actually what happens. There isn't anything else to explain what the hell I just watched.

In conclusion, Selita Ebanks, holla atcha boy! I'm not exactly sure how the whole bird-human combo thing works, especially since it appears you may not have a vagina. But they invented blowies for a reason, I'm sure we can work something out. And if you fall from the sky and I find you, I'll at least hook you up with some threads and some nail trimmers before taking you to a dinner party. And we never have to eat turkey. We can just go down to the pizza store below our new apartment and smash slices every meal. It wouldn't be that hard for me as Little Roma's has made just about all the food I've had for the last 3 weeks. Just doing my part to keep a roof over my boy Jose's head at night, because the pizza isn't all that great.

PS- Pattyshack and JSmiles, czech it out. The whole thing was shot in Prague.